It was suffocating. So suffocating in a way that hasn't been in a long time.Chi Xiaochi is familiar with mortality. Almost intimately so. He loved a boy—no, loves a boy and it was after his death. It made Chi Xiaochi question himself sometimes. Whether he truly loved Lou-ge or he loved the memory of him. Repeatedly questioning his sanity, his morals, his precious memories; mortality was something he was intimately familiar with.It drove the knife deeper seeing it again. So painful and the knife twists bit by bit with every passing day. Every passing minute.It was suffocating.