Fear The idea that the beloved othe

Fear The idea that the beloved other will have a terrible, painful death is often present, and the fact that caregivers do not know when death will come, and in what form, may generate fear.Afraid of what is going to happen. How it will develop. On the one hand I think a little bit like, maybe she’ll be able to go for a bike ride this summer, but on the other hand I’m afraid she will have a lot of pain.(f04a, daughter1; ca stomach)Insecurity Often there are ups and downs in the patient’s functioning (physical and mental), which is difficult for caregivers.When she is free of pain and she feels good, then I’m ok as well. Then I live again as I did before. Except that we, well, she is not able to walk as far and she tires easily. (f05, partner; ca ovary)She is often unpredictable, she can be very nice and another time she’s pigheaded. Sometimes that’s difficult. But then you have to consider why that is, like do you mean that, or is it because your head is affected? (f02, daughter; ca brain)Insecurity about the patient’s functioning may mean that caregivers have no control over their own lives.How long do you still have, when the therapy ‘takes’, and to live day by day, that’s what I find very hard. You can’t plan anything (…). I’ve tried, but every time something comes in between. (f06, partner; ca urinary bladder)Insecurity about the patient’s dying wish, for example about the funeral, may increase the caregiver’s vulnerability, because the caregiver may be anxious to fail:He doesn’t talk about it [the funeral]. But maybe to the social worker later on. Because I worry that I didn’t do it right, that he may have wanted it different. And I think it is the last thing you can do for somebody. (f08, partner; ca colon)