NEVER wait until you are married to

NEVER wait until you are married to find out about a man being a good father, or a good worker, or what his deep values are. If you find that they do not match yours, it is too late! If you find areas of him that he is unwilling to talk about, or that he avoids discussing, and they are important to you, tell him it is important or tell him goodbye. I mean this seriously, but it is your choice at all times. If you cannot talk openly with the man you might marry, what makes you think he will be able to afterwards? He does not change just because of getting married in this way. It will place both of you in a crucible that will demand of you to face your deepest needs and fears as a human. It will bring out your best and worst; some qualities that you might not even know you have. It will force you, if you take marriage seriously, to confront your deepest darkness, as well as his, and to continue to remain committed to marriage with him. I strongly suggest, again, that you talk to your parents and/or grandparents about this. Get their experience as well as their advice.